Alright so here's some more of my story. I'll keep it short and sweet as I'd like to sleep. Ha I am a poet and didn't even know it.
During this time I of course had my family, but I came to realize friends are a lot in your life too. Another thing I learned is that Ga is a very...traditional....generational....place I guess you could say. A lot of the people here have roots back to Civil War days and other have just lived here their whole lives. They went to pre-school with some of these kids or their parents were friends when they were younger whatever you want to come up with these kids had known each other for a long time. It shouldn't matter but it did. I was a nomad, and on top of that I was homeschooled so I wasn't able to make friends through school. So basically from the time I was11-13 I had no friends. I kept in touch with some of my old friends but they were able to move on and make new friends. I didn't want to look like a loser so I sometimes made up things about what I was doing or where I was going. When my old friends started to have fun social lives (keep in mind they were like me homeschooled, w/ similar enough interest.) I started to ask God why them and not me. I quietly built a rage for my family and God, not quite willing to show them my feelings. Why had they made me move? I would have had friends, been well established in my church community, I had even picked out the college I wanted to go to. I could've been like my old friends, having fun doing things together. Why did God allow this to happen? Where was He when I needed Him? What was His plan for me and why did it include so much hurt. I became angry with my siblings too. Why did they have friends? Why did my brother get to go out for a few wknds in a row w/ friends, while I was stuck at home? All these whys as to why God had done this to me. I loved my family, but I felt very alone as they began to settle into this new place.
to be cont.
Kaity
to clarify my closest siblings are 5 years younger than me so the jealousy was really flaming.
Also I realize there are people in much worse situations, but to each his own. God gave me this test and for me it was extremely hard.
I know exactly how you have felt. I have tried to make friends with other people at Youth Group , and at other activities. But, the sad fact is I could die off and they would never know or even care.
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